Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Late night hosts recap Volodymyr Zelensky's address to Congress, mock Trump's 'surprise' at Putin's invasion

Three weeks into Vladimir Putin's war on Ukraine, Russia's bogged-down military has "changed their tactics to just unadulterated terrorism," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. "And with Ukrainian cities, especially Kyiv, under constant attack, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky gave a virtual address to Congress this morning."

Congress gave Zelensky a standing ovation, and "you know it was a powerful speech when that many old people jumped to their feet," Colbert said. "There are knees in that room that were alive during the Roosevelt administration."

"Zelensky delivered a virtual address to Congress this morning and received a standing ovation, making him the first comedian to actually deserve one," Seth Meyers said on Late Night. Meanwhile, "former President Trump said in a new interview that he was 'surprised' when Russian President Vladimir Putin invaded Ukraine," he added. "Really? Because he invaded Ukraine in 2014. When you're surprised by a thing that's already happened, that's a symptom."

"Trump said that he's 'surprised' Putin invaded Ukraine and that Putin's 'changed,'" Jimmy Fallon said on The Tonight Show. "Trump went on to say, 'This is not the man I fell in love with.'"

"At least he still has Kim Jong Un, I guess," Jimmy Kimmel joked on Kimmel Live. The Ukraine war "is not going the way the Russians hoped it would. Their economy is tanking, business are closing, assets have been frozen, and the only pizza they can get now is Papa John's."

Putin always has Fox News hosts Tucker Carlson and "Comrade Jeanine" Pirro's "Happy Vodka Shout Time," The Late Show noted.

"Vladimir Putin is not happy about any of this," Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. "In fact, today he gave a speech in which he complained that the West is trying to 'cancel Russia,' which is pretty rich coming from this dude. My man is over here as the only person in history who's ever sent an army to kill a comedian."

In his speech, "Zelensky pleaded with the U.S. to send more weapons and enforce a no-fly zone over Ukraine," and while the no-fly zone is a no-go, because World War III, everyday Americans are stepping up with donations — including weapons, Noah said. "I guess this is just a beautiful example of how an ecosystem can balance itself. One country's problems can be another country's solution. America has too many guns and over-militarized police force? Send it over to Ukraine. Hell, throw in some mass shooters, too."