Live from new york
Cecily Strong, playing Fox News host Judge Jeanine Pirro, began by describing Rittenhouse as a "lovable scamp." Mikey Day then joined the show as Judge Bruce Schroeder. Day referred to Rittenhouse as "my client," mocking what some have perceived as the judge's bias toward the now-acquitted Rittenhouse. Next up were a pair of progressive legal analysts played by Chloe Fineman and Chris Redd. Fineman, who is white, called the verdict "a call to finally change the system," while Redd, who is Black, quipped that the "call" would likely "go right to voicemail."
Strong also poked fun at House Minority leader Kevin McCarthy's (R-Calif.) marathon speech in opposition to the Build Back Better bill and blasted President Biden's recent colonoscopy as "socialized butt play paid for by your tax dollars."
James Austin Johnson rounded out the open with an appearance as former President Donald Trump. Strong-as-Pirro told Johnson-as-Trump that she planned to just "let you riff," and Johnson obliged, launching into a free-associative monologue that touched on everything from the Gossip Girl reboot to the 2024 election.
Touting his superiority to Biden on infrastructure policy, Johnson-as-Trump insisted that his wall-building expertise was easily transferrable. "When you put wall down through a grassy field, okay, frankly, that's road. And if you take wall and lay it across a river, frankly, Jeanie, we're doing bridge," he said, eliciting a hearty laugh from the studio audience.