The Week contest: Mattress malfunction

This week’s question: An outage at Amazon Web Services caused some “smart” mattresses to suddenly heat up, freeze in an upright position, and/or sound a wake-up alarm. In seven or fewer words, write the subject line of a complaint that a sleep-deprived customer might email to the smart mattress maker.

Click here to see the results of last week’s contest: Shutdown spirits

RESULTS:

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THE WINNER: My night of the living bed

Tom Titcombe, Larkspur, Colo.

SECOND PLACE: Sweet dreams aren’t made of this

Ken Kellam III, Dallas, Texas

THIRD PLACE: Please give my smart mattress a lobotomy

Jeff Goodrich, Andover, N.H. 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Apparently my mattress has a “popcorn” setting

Daniel Hicks, Randolph, Mass.

Concerned observations from a human panini

Stephen Puerini, Naples, Fla. 

Hot and bothered—not the good way!

Patty Oberhausen, Fort Wayne, Ind.

Wakey, wakey… time for bakey?

Ken Skallan, Littleton, Colo.

I was tossing and burning all night.

Janet Oberfoell, Monticello, Iowa

Smart mattress failed IQ test

Candy Bell, Edmond, Okla.

My Tempur-Pedic has a temper

Greg Martin, Nashville

Your bed’s erectile dysfunction ruined my sleep

Dan Schueller, Golden Valley, Minn.

Alexa, I asked for uplifting music, not mattress

John B Crawford, Keswick, Va.