Speed Reads

Last night on Late Night

Late night hosts make billionaire tax policy entertaining, boo the Halloween weed edibles scare

"It was yet another day of bickering for lawmakers in Washington, D.C.," this time over a "Billionaires Income Tax," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Last Show. "Now, the details are a little complex, let me try to explain it: Billionaires, there's this thing called taxes, and you should pay any." 

"Calling it a billionaire income tax was smart branding by the Democrats, because Republicans are going to sound pretty out-of-touch if they oppose it — which they immediately did," Colbert said. "No word on what's gonna happen with this, except that Joe Manchin is against it so it's dead."

"Senate Democrats rolled out a new tax proposal that would only target the 700 richest Americans as a way to help Biden's spending plan," Jimmy Fallon said on The Tonight Show. "It's tough for billionaires. If you'd like to sponsor one, you can make a difference for just $34 million a day." Sadly, "by this afternoon Democrats scrapped the tax on billionaires, and now they might tax millionaires instead," he added, explaining how that will affect each of the Kardashians.

Democrats "have been struggling" to find a tax policy "that Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema both support," but they found one, "and that is requiring big corporations to pay a minimum tax of 15 percent," Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. "Now, because of his previous positions, it might be surprising to hear that Joe Manchin is actually pro-raising taxes on corporations," but he has cleverly branded it a "patriotic tax," he said. And "Manchin is right: Paying taxes is patriotic. Part of loving your country is financially supporting your country. You can't say you love your child if you're sending all your money to some other kid who's in the Cayman Islands."

Noah was skeptical about a new warning for parents about their kids being handed edibles on Halloween, and Duclé Sloan explained the real danger here.

The Late Show also found the weed Halloween candy story unbelievable.

"There will be no trick-or-treating at the White House this weekend — they were planning to do the traditional handout of candy, but Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema blocked it," Jimmy Kimmel joked on Kimmel Live. "This would never happen under Trump — every day under Trump was Halloween. Every day he woke up in the morning, he put on a full pumpkin face, ate garbage out of a bag, and scared the hell out of everyone."