The Week contest: Penny epitaph

This week's question: The Treasury Department announced that it will soon stop producing pennies, after determining that each 1-cent coin costs 3.7 cents to manufacture. In seven or fewer words, come up with an epitaph for our smallest denomination of currency.
Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Streaker race
RESULTS:
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
THE WINNER: Forever in our hearts and couch cushions
Jonathan Venazindis, Zelienople, Pennsylvania
SECOND PLACE: You made cents, but we lost interest
Jessica Lefort, Saline, Michigan
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
THIRD PLACE: Here lies Penny, spent
Cary Wiger, New Albany, Indiana
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"Hasta la vista, Abe-y"
Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Virginia
"The coin was tossed"
Erica Avery, Greenfield, Massachusetts
"Penny's in heaven"
Kenneth Burgan, Grass Valley, California
"Lincoln assassinated, again"
George Strong, Plano, Texas
"No more clinkin' for Lincoln"
Matt Miller, Portland, Oregon
"Copper to zinc, then down the sink"
Mike Wroblewski, Leland, North Carolina
"A penny saved is a penny urned"
John Zimmerman, Washington, Pennsylvania
"Your thoughts will now cost a nickel"
Bridget Barclay, New Paltz, New York
"No more pennies, no more thoughts"
John M. Mishler, Harpswell, Maine
"It always gave one percent"
Jeff Goodrich, Andover, New Hampshire
"Alas, "3.7 cents for your thoughts" tested poorly"
Fernand Dutile, South Bend, Indiana
"You can't pinch me anymore!"
John V. Cooney, Macungie, Pennsylvania
-
Shutdown: Democrats stand firm, at a cost
Feature With Trump refusing to negotiate, Democrats’ fight over health care could push the government toward a shutdown
-
TikTok: A little help from Trump’s friends
Feature Trump’s new TikTok deal would hand the app over to 'his billionaire allies,' ignoring national security concerns
-
Antifa: A useful right-wing bogeyman?
Feature Trump signs executive order labeling antifa a “domestic terrorist” group
-
Quiz of The Week: 20 – 26 September
Have you been paying attention to The Week’s news?
-
The Week contest: Stone scam
Puzzles and Quizzes
-
Magazine solutions - October 3, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - October 3, 2025
-
Magazine printables - October 3, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - October 3, 2025
-
Quiz of The Week: 13 – 19 September
Quiz Have you been paying attention to The Week's news?
-
The Week contest: Phone risk
Puzzles and Quizzes
-
Magazine solutions - September 26, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Magazine printables - September 26, 2025 Issue - September 26, 2025
-
Magazine printables - September 26, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Magazine printables - September 26, 2025 Issue - September 26, 2025