Speed Reads

last night on late night

Jimmy Kimmel roasts Trump's unbelievably sober 'drunken wedding toast' at Mar-a-Lago

Jimmy Kimmel joked on Monday's Kimmel Live that he spent his last week off on a very slow cruise through the Suez Canal. "I have to say, after all the fighting and the tooth-gnashing over the last few years, it was nice to see the whole world come together to make fun of a boat," he said. "They say we might have a shortage of coffee and toilet paper. The good news is without one you might not need the other, but still it's crazy that something like this can bring the world of commerce to a halt."

"Former members of Donald Trump's pandemic team are speaking out," telling CNN "the death toll could have been much lower if the Trump administration had take the virus more seriously," Kimmel said. "So today Trump responded with a letter" essentially proving their case. "Meanwhile, President Biden today announced that within three weeks, 90 percent of American adults will be eligible to get the vaccine," he said, and "75 percent of Americans — including a majority of Republicans — approve of the way Biden has handled the rollout of the vaccine, which is driving them absolutely nuts in Trumpland." He illustrated this with Eric Trump on Fox News.

"Eric loves saying 'my father' — he says 'father' more times in one interview than I did in seven years as an altar boy," Kimmel said. "Will somebody please take that kid fishing already? If they weren't so terrible, this would be the saddest family in the world. And while Eric is pleading for credit on cable TV, Daddy Donny stopped into a wedding at Mar-a-Lago — he rents his house out for weddings," he chuckled, and "had some beautiful words for the bride and groom."

"I love this so much," Kimmel said, playing the video of Trump's self-involved toast. "It is a wedding! I used to be a DJ at weddings when I was in college, I've seem some weird toasts, never have I seen one like this. How can you give a drunken wedding toast when you don't even drink?" So that's what Trump "does now: he babbles at weddings, he complains," he said. "Whenever someone plays the song 'YMCA' he magically appears, like Beetlejuice." Kimmel ended with a PSA about how to re-acclimate to society after the pandemic, and you can watch that below. Peter Weber