Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Trump versus reality

Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel question Trump's old-timey aviation advice, Mitt Romney's humanness

On Tuesday's Late Show, Stephen Colbert said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's (D-Calif.) "he's just not worth it" response to impeaching President Trump is "clearly reverse psychology," made fun of Pelosi's Lent-thwarting chocolate addiction, and noted the disconnect between Trump's promise to "protect Medicare" and his proposal to slash its budget by $818 billion. "Yes, we will protect Medicare from those greedy old people," he said in Trump voice.

"Trump also weighed in on the Ethiopian Airlines crash," but not to console the families of the 157 people who died, Colbert said. Instead, he "railed against the Boeing 737 MAX 8" in a tweet about how "often older and simpler is far better" when it comes to aircraft and other products. "He should know," Colbert said. "We've never had a president older or simpler."

The Late Show also visualized Trump's aviation advice.

"Yeah, what happened to the old days when plans had propellers and you could smoke on 'em, and when you wanted peanuts, you just give the stewardess a little smack on the ass and she'd get it for you?" Jimmy Kimmel deadpanned on Kimmel Live. "I say let's go back to the days of FAX machines and tuberculosis!" Kimmel also wished Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) a happy 72nd birthday and showed the video his staff took of the Twinkie cake. "I think we learned more about Mitt Romney from this video than we did during the entire campaign in 2012," he said, observing that Romney blows out candles "like an alien to our planet."

It's "fitting" that Twinkies are Romney's favorite snack, Colbert said. "Just like Twinkies, Mitt Romney doesn't age and he's even whiter on the inside. But the weird part is Romney blew out the candles by picking them up and blowing them out individually. ... Everything he does is like an alien googled 'How to do a normal.'" Colbert ran through some other short-and-sweet stories, but watch to the end for a brutal Tucker Carlson joke. Peter Weber