The Week contest: Racoon’s regrets

This week’s question: A Kentucky nurse successfully used CPR to revive a drunken raccoon she found passed out in a distillery’s dumpster, where the critter had overindulged in moonshine-soaked peaches. If a country singer were to write a song about the raccoon's boozy misadventure, what would it be titled?
Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Rock grandfather
RESULTS:
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THE WINNER: “Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Red”
Joel Nelson, Goleta, California
SECOND PLACE: “I Fall to Peaches”
Jeff Jerome, Northampton, Massachusetts
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THIRD PLACE: “I Thought Those Shots Were for Rabies”
Larry Rifkin, Glastonbury, Connecticut
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
“I Always Wake Up with Two Black Eyes”
Daniel Hicks, Randolph, Massachusetts
“(I Can’t) Walk the Line”
Ken Kellam III, Dallas, Texas
“Groggy Mountain Breakdown”
Lidia Zidik, Reading, Pennsylvania
“Don’t Come Home a’ Drinkin’ (With Dumpster Divin’ on Your Mind)”
John Engemann, Cary, North Carolina
“I Got Trashed in the Trash”
Ken Elek, South Bend, Indiana
“Furry Friends in Low Places”
Suzie Fraser, Whitesboro, New York
“Rings of Firewater”
John Anderson, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
“Where the Wild Turkeys Are”
Laurel Rose, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
“The Ballad of the Trashed Panda”
Alan Martin, Park Ridge, Illinois
“Bad Coon (Not) Rising”
Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Virginia
“King of the Roadkill”
Michael Riggs, Jeffersonville, Pennsylvania
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