Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles 2020 Democrats

Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah unpack the wild Democratic free-for-all in South Carolina

The seven top Democratic presidential candidates faced off in South Carolina on Tuesday night, and The Late Show got everyone up to speed with a topical parody of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline."

Yes, "the Democrats met in my hometown of Charleston, South Carolina, and these folks said a lot of words — and I did not hear many of them, because the candidates were speaking all over each other the entire time," Stephen Colbert said in his live post-debate monologue. Former Vice President Joe Biden "wasn't exactly in top form coming in to the debate," having just forgotten which office he's running for, but the night's first big fight was the "haymakers between Bernie and Bloomie," he said. "Wow, that is really punching below the belt, but then again, Bloomberg can't reach much higher."

"It wasn't just Bloomberg attacking Sanders — all the candidates had their torches out to set fire to the wicker Bernie," Colbert said, showing some samples. And "Bernie wasn't always a hit with the crowd tonight, especially when he defended his limited praise of the Cuban Revolution," Colbert said. Still, he added, he personally would be happy Sanders getting the nomination, "because Bernie and Trump are the only two impressions I can do."

The debate "was wild tonight — I haven't seen white people go at each other that hard since khakis were on sale at Banana Republic," Trevor Noah joked at The Daily Show. Bloomberg had another tough night, and "if Bernie Sanders was the ass-whooping appetizer, Elizabeth Warren brought the main course," he said. "She destroyed him in the first debate, she came after him again tonight," and "if Bloomberg worried that he was coming across as a corrupt billionaire, it really didn't help him when he made a really bad slip of the tongue," he added. "You probably shouldn't brag about 'buying' people in South Carolina."

Amy Klobuchar had "one of the strangest moments of the night, easily," bringing up her "Uncle Dick in the deer stand," Noah said, offering a probably NSFW riposte. But finally "it was time to get to the main event: Going after Bernie Sanders." Sanders didn't help himself with his Cuba answer, he said, offering an analogy about infidelity. Still, "as long as all the moderates decide to stay in the race, Bernie is going to have a pretty clear path to win the nomination." Watch below. Peter Weber